Part 4: Not Since I’ve Been Here!

As you may recall, the grape wine coolers were flowing at this party in the cabin in the woods.  There was a lot of reminiscing among most of the party guests, who had known each other for at least 10 years and had a lot of escapades to choose from.  How many stories could I listen to about getting in trouble in their teens?  After a while they all started to sound the same.

As for Chick and I, casual party talk drifted to more intimate disclosures.  Somehow the subject came up and I mentioned that I had breast reduction surgery a couple of years before.  She didn’t believe me, so I pointed in Bryan’s general direction and said, “Go ahead and ask Bryan, he’ll tell you.”

Halloween the year before my surgery, as Dolly Parton
Halloween the year before my surgery, as Dolly Parton

She wandered over to a group of guys who were standing next to Bryan and approached a guy named Joe.  As I frantically tried to wave her off, yelling, “No! Not him!!”, she appraoched a guy named Joe.  He was known to the rest of the partygoers as ‘the churchlady’ because he resembled Dana Carvey and did a killer impression of the churchlady from Saturday Night Live.  Chick asked him,  “Did Debbie have breast reduction surgery?” and  Joe answered, “Not since I’ve been here!”

In the past 25 years we have had many misadventures, Chick and I.  Anyone who is acquainted with this band wife knows how she loves practical jokes.  She is easily one of the funniest people I know.  We have graduated from grape wine coolers and subjecting new people we meet to pedestrian interviews, but at parties we can still often be heard using one of our favorite taglines, “Not since I’ve been here!”

Want more?  Go to:

Part 1 – The Night We Met

Part 2 – She’s Cute, But Why Are Her Teeth Purple?

Part 3 – Was She A Possibility?


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