I am not one for reality shows and have never tuned into Survivor or The Bachelor, but today when I was channelsurfing I found a reality show called “Rock This Boat.” This show (which I found on Pop, the recently renamed TV Guide channel) is about 3000 New Kids on the Block superfans on a cruise with the band. Grown ass women acting like raving lunatics for a band they swooned over 20+ years ago. What a train wreck.Embed from Getty Images
The tears that have already been shed on the first four episodes don’t compare to the woman crying in episode 5. In an effort to try and obtain some VIP party passes, she gets the idea to flash her breasts to one of the Kids with the party question written in sharpie marker. The Kid looks and then just turns and walks away.
She is devastated when she believes she has hurt Danny, the Kid in question. Seriously? She thinks he has been irrevocably hurt (and doesn’t think she has become the latest cautionary fan tale, which I am sure she has). As they venture into the next episode, she in inconsolable and refused to leave her cabin for 30 hours. Her friends are hoping an apology video will somehow make it to the Kid and he will forgive her for her unforgivable breach of etiquette
Why didn’t they just do what I did? Find a local band (or two) and follow them to every gig, and make friends with their wives? I have ingratiated myself with both Mobius Jones and Day Ja Voo and am now invited to every party, VIP or not. No flashing necessary. Just a bit of fawning every now and then (just kidding, guys!) and I am in. They could film a reality show about us, but I think it would be rather boring. How often can you listen to me say, “Hey – this is my favorite song!!”
#newkidsontheblock #dayjavoo #mobiusjones #rustyjunk